We are used to thinking that changing our lives means doing something large-scale, deciding on drastic changes. We think we will be happier when we move to another country. Or in marriage, or after the birth of a child. Or with a steep takeoff on a career path. But taking such a big step is not always easy. There is no guarantee that this will make us happy either. This means that in most cases, a feeling of frustration and dissatisfaction is provided to us.
The secret to happiness is taking small steps. Eventually, their combination will lead to the desired qualitative changes. But in order to understand what kind of change we need, it is important to learn to ask ourselves the right questions.
Question 1: How satisfied are you with your life today? Rate it in points on a scale of 1 to 10
Try not to think too hard about your answer. Don’t make lists of everything you are happy or dissatisfied with. Just remember the score that comes to your mind first.
If your answer is 10, congratulations: you can end there. Your life is completely fine with you (but it still doesn’t hurt to do this exercise from time to time).
If you “scored” 9 points or fewer, go to the next part.
Question 2. Add the number from the first answer 1. What exactly will be different in your life if you will be happy with it at this level?
For example, in the first question, you answered “6”. Then ask yourself: “And if I answer 7, what exactly will be different in my life?”
The wording is extremely important. Asking ourselves what will be different (not “would” and not “could be”), we tune our brains to the fact that “the mission is achievable”, and small daily steps will lead us to the desired result. Your answer about what will be different may be like this: I can do a short warm-up, call a friend, walk for 20 minutes after work.
Ask them for themselves every night before going to bed. This is important: research shows that while we sleep, new neural connections are formed in our brains that will set the stage for global change. Most likely, within a few months or even weeks, you will notice the result.
Why is it worth adding only one point and not striving immediately to the top bar and hitting the “top ten”? Because a slight change is simple to achieve. If you strive to immediately “move mountains”, the task may seem too overwhelming. And there will be a temptation to postpone the implementation of our plans until better times.
The significant thing about these two questions is that they help improve your life, understand what you are missing. But the steps required to make these changes don’t feel like work or overwhelming work.
Make such a daily dialogue with yourself a habit — and soon you notice that you are evaluating your life on a higher number of points. And perhaps, over time, you will knock out more and more “strikes”, with little or no effort.