Do you know that feeling when we love the other person more than they love us? On one hand, we feel that we settle for “crumbs,” which leads to frustration and lack of satisfaction.
On the other hand, we still love the partner very much and find it hard to part ways.
This article explains what to do in such a situation.
Love is an intangible feeling and there are many ways to show it.
Often we assume that someone loves us less, but this is only because their love language, meaning the way they express love, is different from ours.
In this case, they do not love us as we wish to be loved.
It is possible that a partner will love me very much, but I will not feel that they see me or consider me, or alternatively, they may do all the things that show love but not express it in words and here too I will feel they do not love.
So what should we do?
It is important first to conduct an internal inquiry with ourselves what do I expect from love? How do I want love to look for me?
Try to define precisely, for example: Someone who truly loves me will call me in the morning, will not disappear on me and will give me a sense of security.
Break down what you want to receive in love into practical things, not slogans.
After completing the internal inquiry and defining these things for yourself, share them with the other person and receive from them an answer whether they are able to meet these expectations and give you what you need and want.
If it turns out that the other person simply cannot provide what you ask for, consider with yourself whether you want to remain in the relationship.
The use of the word love can carry with it suffering and past residues and prevent us from living in the moment.
Therefore instead of asking yourself whether the other person loves you or not, check if you feel comfortable in the relationship.
If you do not feel comfortable in this relationship, you need to find the way out, but if you feel overall comfortable, you can release the word love. Everyone loves differently.
Instead of equality, look for reciprocity.
Equality corresponds to bookkeeping: Three times I did what you asked, so three times I ask to do what I want, or last time I compromised, now you will compromise.
This is a lost war from the start and can lead to unnecessary conflicts. In contrast, reciprocity, seeing that the partner supports you, even if they do it in different ways, is the real key.
When we expect equality, gaps are created and a gap means suffering.
Accordingly, when a person feels they love the other more than they are loved, they are in suffering. In my opinion, when a person is in suffering, they should do everything to reduce or eliminate the suffering.
The solution is one of two: change the environment, meaning part ways, or change the perspective.
Love is closely related to self worth.
When asking why someone loves me less, the truth is we need to point the finger at ourselves and ask how much we love ourselves and how much we feel worthy of love.
Someone who does not feel worthy of love will settle for crumbs, say thank you for everything they receive from the other and will not feel loved.
As long as we do not feel worthy of love and do not love ourselves, it will not help if someone outside tells us they love us, because the gap is internal. In contrast, when we feel worthy, we are attracted to the right people and relationships that truly suit us.
Once we love ourselves enough, we will also not be able to be with someone who loves us less.
Many times people remain in a relationship with a gap because they do not believe they can get more. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you deserve more.
A person who feels worthy of mutual and beneficial love will also receive this love.
Live with the self-belief that the person who will love you as you want is around the corner, but if you do not move, but leave the door closed, you will not allow it to enter your life.
Open the door to be loved as you deserve.